A HALLUCINATION

My man is my first love
He is the only one in my life, after my dad actually
My man is a best friend
He can handle me well
My man is a comedian
I love his blah blih bluh bleh bloh
My man is a savior
Just kidding, Jesus is the real one absolutely
My man is my forever love
I swear to God that will love him till death do us apart

No, I'm not.

I'm not that strong.
I'm easily cried when I saw sweet scene on Korean Drama's.
A sweet scene between parents (who are still parents even they are slap their child hard to teach them about how rude the world if we can't stand with our own foot) and their child (who still their child even they already have everything that they already proof to their parents) or a sweet scene between lover then their love conquer the world and broke a myth that there is no possibilities when civilian love superstar.

I'm not that strong.
I can easily satisfied when I heard my dad singing, my mom laughing and my bros praying.

I'm not that strong.
Even when I'm laugh out loud or when I give you smiley emoticon.

I just not that strong.

Sad

Sad is when you have parents but you can't had a nice conversation with them..
Sad is when you have children but you can't hug them..
Sad is when you have brother but you never do a 'crime' together..

Sad is when you have sister but you have to act like a stranger..
Sad is when you have best friends but they are liar..
Sad is when you have leaders but they won't fight for you..
Sad is when you have lovers but you fell insecure..

Sad is when you have everything but you don't know how to share..

Sad is when you are in a crowd but you fell alone.
Sad is when you are in a party but you fell lonely.
Sad is when you are in your success but you don't have anyone to celebrate.
Sad is when you want to laugh out loud but you fell empty inside.
Sad is when you want to be heard but you close your ears to a suggest.
Sad is when you want to be honoured but you are too busy to keep your nice image.
Sad is when you forced to do everything but you fell disappointed.
Sad is when you belive too much to some people but they stab your back.
Sad is when you are silent but other consider that you are an arrogant one.

Sad is when you can't live a life whose everyone dream it..
Sad is when you can't memorize the little thing you've did with your lovers..
Sad is when you fell regret about all you have done in your age..

So there is many reason to be sad but it is okay, we are human. No one perfect and they are far from your expectation. Just don't be too sad because He said 'this too will pass'..

Ed Sheeran - Photograph

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know

When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me, inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer 'till our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know (know)

I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of you
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me, inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer 'till our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home [4x]

Oh you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16
Next to your heartbeat
Where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."

It was always same question with same replied.

Keep thinking and traped in same question. Why always me?
If you said, "look at me? You still lucky in that way than mine."
"but how if your experience more than colorfull in my eyes?"
"trust me, the ending not that beautiful."
"masih inget kan, bersakit-sakit dahulu bersenang-senang kemudian?"
"itu yang selalu muncul pas gue drop gini. Tp mau sampe kapan? Sedangkan gue semakin tua."
"one question, did you try with your heart and all your power?"
"i think so."
"i think not that heartlessly and powerfull."
"so what do you want?"
"keep trying and never give up! Tuhan itu lihat usaha lu, Dia yg tau kmu uda berusaha keras atau belum. Dia yg tau kapan waktu yg tepat, buat ngasih yg bener2 lo butuhin, bkn yg lo inginkan. Iya, cuma Dia yang paling tahu!"
Then trapped in same question again, why so long? I am tired for waiting :(
He told me, once more, again and again, I WILL PAID ALL YOUR WEARY!